‘Soft white flower - May 14, 1984’



'Whiltering Cala lilies' ~ Artist Rosa Carrafa

‘Soft white flower - May 14, 1984’
(Extract from 'Life is what happened' out soon based on true events and raw
emotions from the eyes and heart of the 14 year old me)
~written by Rosa Carrafa


My eyes wander through the wire mesh bed bunk above me. Seeing through the mattress and the bedding. How it would be to just fly and soar through the sky. Touch those soft clouds. Hugging them with my arms, caressing them with my long delicate young fingers.
I ask the clouds ‘How much have you seen? How much have you heard?’
“I fly with grace.
I smile with innocence.
I laugh with joy.
I cry with warm tears.
I remain silent with fear.”
They speak my thoughts. Why?

Confusion runs through my veins.
Loud voices.
Hysteria.
Cries.
Doors open.
Doors shut.
Telephone ring.
Doorbell chiming.
Voices.
Voices.
Voices.
Voices.
EVERYWHERE!

I see my faithful clouds.
They now reach for me. They wrap their soft warmth around me. Whispering to me, “Fly little Angel, spread your wings. Love, laughter. Is what we see and hear”.
Are they teasing me?
Who is laughing and why are they laughing?
I felt the presence of something I cannot explain surrounding me. I remained immobile for quite sometime. Did anyone else hear them? I carefully looked around. The soft soothing sound of music numbed me. The sensation of being rescued from all this madness that was surrounding me felt like magic. Was it magic? Was it God and his Angels? They whispered, “speak only to us, you are safe”. I did not speak to anyone nor share any emotional expression. I remained faithful to my Clouds.

Sunshine rays onto my face.
‘Home’, I thought.
‘Mum’, I cried silently inside my head and heart.
Continuous voices echoed through these walls that I was soon to discover was going to be my new home.
Pure madness.
Insanity.
Craziness.
How can one even exaggerate this moment? Lucifer himself had just made himself comfortable in my life and there is no going back. He wouldn’t take any of this back. How dare he cause chaos? I wanted to what kick him out of my life at that very instant and yell out ‘Satan, burn in hell’. But didn’t. How does he burn in hell when he is already there? Why do we say that? Odd.
I simply breathed and turned around and made my way towards the front garden.

I saw a wilting flower. She was white with green foliage surrounding her. She seemed so beautiful yet so lost all alone among the grass and leaves. She seemed to be smiling at me. I knelt beside her and just lay there. The sun’s warmth was like the reassuring hug that only a mother can give. Gently swaying in the warm breeze. I let out a giggle as this warmth sat on the tip of my fine shaped nose. I dare not brush it away. It smelt of cool fresh water. ‘How I want to bathe in this scent’, I thought as I closed my eyes. Voices and echoes of madness filled the background again. I stopped. I turned my little head and shrugged. My little flower needed me before the sun went down. So with her I decided to spend the remaining day lying on the green soft plush grass.
Was this Heaven?
The laughter I heard was Satan disguised as angels.

In 1984, my family lost six members our of family in one horrific road accident. We all lost six hearts that day, 14th May, 1984. I was only 14 years old. Now as a mother, I look into the eyes of my children and see my parents. My mother was the gentlest kindest soul that anyone would have ever known. To hear stories of her fills my heart with more love with each story I hear and my eyes, well they tear up till the tears hurt. From this moment on, life is what happened for me.

'The loss of a mother is so deep that unless you lose her, you are unfamiliar to this pain.' ~ RC

Peace to you and your families.
More about the author can be read at the two links below.
I dedicate time to healing and growth.
I am a published author and my mission is to bring HOPE to all those who feel as though the self-esteem has been sucked out of them. My book 'Aspects of Me', is available for you and also it is part of a Mission of HOPE movement where one can participate by entering 'HOPE' in the description at payment and the publisher will allocate it to the Mission.
To support this mission of hope, please CLICK SHOP NOW AT:
Read more : https://ourspiritualaspects.blogspot.com.au/

'To spread HOPE in a world of 'I can't'
~ Rosa Carrafa
https://www.facebook.com/RosaCarrafaAuthorArtist/
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